Dear Housemate

SERIOUSLY!

Every morning you wake me up to you talking on the phone.

Every day you get home I listen to you talk on the phone.

Every day I try to fall asleep listening to you talk on your god damned phone.

Firstly you are going to end up with some sort of cancer.

Second, it is seriously unnecessary to talk at volume 10! The phone will pick you up at volume 3!

Third, you sound like a girl.

One of these days I'm going to malfunction your phone.