Welcome To The Circus

Feeling so pleased with myself for finally mastering my handstand on the Chinese Pole.

Thought I'd take it up a notch by throwing it in my routine 5m above ground.

And then I fell.

Head first.

From handstand to crash mat in a quarter of a second.

Yet for a good 5 seconds, I felt myself fall to my death. For 5 whole seconds, I watched my entire world shatter beneath me. For 5 seconds, my heart stopped beating.

Then I landed in a soft cloud of crash mats, watching my heart beating on the floor beside me. All I could feel was the place where my heart had been ripped out of my chest, 15 silent eyes staring at me in shock, a burn on my left shoulder and a serious appreciation of life.

I am fully aware that falling and potentially seriously injuring myself is something extremely common in circus, and will happen to me many more times. I just don't think it's something I'm ever going to get used to.

Welcome to the circus.