2013

So I guess that's it then, 2013 over.

I'm not really a huge fan of New Years resolutions. I don't really like the idea of saying you're going to do or achieve a list of things just because that's what people do on the first of January. If we're all honest with ourselves, when does this list ever get looked back upon let alone acted on? Or maybe people do live by their "New Years Resolutions", it's just me that doesn't. Either way, they're not for me.

As a general rule, I don't usually like reflections either. I prefer to put the past aside and look forward to the future. So far, I'm a great New Years candidate ...

But I think if anything, 2013 has taught me that the past is an essential part of my future. Every last detail of my past has shaped me into who I am today.

And 2013 has been a ridiculously epic year.

So I thought I might do a little reflection on the longest year of my life.

The year starts with a new found love for James Revie. Not sure what to say about this event, without undervaluing it.

Perfect start to my year.

I also became a Granny with Nicole Puttick. Learning to knit with you was the greatest hungover idea of all time. I LOVE the headband you made me for Christmas. Just thinking about you makes me smile.

February - back to work at Explorus Adventure Learning. It sure as hell wasn't easy working all day and all night most working weeks for a year and a half. And towards the end there, I feel that maybe I started to lose a little of my appreciation for the opportunity I'd been given to work there. But I am forever grateful for every moment, good or bad, that I spent working for you. I think that working for you was the beginning of me learning about me. And since, I've only continued learning. So thankyou.

March - heard about some silks class thingy running at the gym by Ash. Didn't quite know what it was. Then it created my dreams. Thanks Ash :)

April - had to say goodbye to Nic :( I miss you all the time.

June - Trip to Indonesia with James. Even though surfing is quite possibly the most emotionally consuming and frustrating sport known to man (or at least known to me)... I'd like to be back in paradise with you. Thanks for your patience :)

July - my last moments at home. With you. I've loved every day I got to spend with you. Not to mention brutalising my nose surfing. First time ever having black eyes. Bloody surfing.

August - Off to London!! Leave my seaside paradise ... hello Woolwich. Talk about culture shock. But I did also find the Rooftop Café, which happens to be the most amazing working experience of my life. You are an inspiration to hospitality. This is what working/eating at a restaurant is supposed to be like. I feel privileged to be an employee of such a respectful organisation.

Also find out that my Granny passed away days after my arrival. I'm sorry I never really got the chance to know you but I'm glad I could be there for your last goodbye. And a huge thankyou to my London relatives for taking me in as one of you, even though I am practically a stranger.

September - The start of my future .. I find the circus. This was also quite possibly the longest month of the year, and physically painful month of my life. And I loved every minute of it. Especially the minutes spent on the chinese pole.

October - Things getting hard now, juggling circus, work and life. Very little sleep. Very little time. Days, weeks so packed full of stuff that days start turning into weeks. Ready to explode. Then ..

One week off training.

Phew. Wait, from memory, I spent the majority of that time when not working .. at the circus. Idiot.

November - So excited to be back into training! Not sure that I fully prepared myself for the stress of creating an act though. Sleepless nights trying to find the right ideas, then trying to find the right song, then trying to piece together the right moves to the right places in the right song. Ahhhh!

Somewhere through it all ... my beautiful chinese pole teacher offers to continue training me in Scotland post course. Thanks Kate for being such an amazing teacher, role model and friend. I cannot wait to train with you in Glasgow.

December - Everything until now has happened in slow motion. Then all of a sudden, someone picked up my remote and pressed fast forward. Where do I even start on December .. all of a sudden it's performance time. Which was epic. I whole heartedly love the circus. Everlasting thanks to Aircraft Circus.

Then the day I finish at the circus ... and Christmas is rapidly approaching ... out comes my dark passenger. He follows me all the time, hides somewhere deep within waiting for the right moment. I believe that he will always be there. Hopefully some day his presence will be much less felt, and much easier to control. For now, I am thankful for the circus. You have been good for me.

Then NYE ... London psy trance, you are a life of your own. Blown away. What a night.

Hello 2014.


P.S

I still love you.

P.P.S

Dear Brindi, I think about you every day.